Tuesday, April 14, 2009

R-man wrote a column about me

WOW. Mom told me there is a column about me in our local newspaper.... R-man is such a great writer. He loves me SOOOOO much. ;)

Mom read me all the funny stuff he wrote about me. He forgot to mention my admirer Woody... But that hot german shepherd is just as good!

Here is a copy of the text..... all rights go to R-man's paper. Don't want no Twouble.

Hart: Dog writes own blog, chases cows and is talk of Calftown

MEET Lucy, the Border Collie of Doom. Lucy lives in Calftown and has the run of the place.

Lucy loves to go for walks, chase tennis balls, rip the stuffing out of her toy animals and watch you when you eat. She has hypnotizing brown eyes, and you cannot escape her stare.

This is what sets Lucy apart from other dogs -- she can talk.

And she has her own blog.

She has conversations, expresses thoughts, verbally accosts the dummy who cuts her walks short. She writes very well, too.

"Don't give out the blog address. That's just for my friends," she said the other day while flipping her head back and giving her owner the evil eye.

We were strolling the other day to her favorite place, a local park, when we walked past a big German Shepherd in a pen.

"Woof!" barked the Shepherd, his tail up and ears pointed to the sky.

"Whatever," Lucy said with a yawn. "Easy, big fella."

Lucy doesn't really walk. She trots, and she is sort of sideways when she heads down an alley or zips around the block.

But don't tell her about her off-kilter gait, because she'll get mad.

"I am NOT sideways," she says with a grimace. "I am trying to see better out of my left eye."

Lucy's favorite thing to do is chase those rotten squirrels. She patiently sits for five or 10 minutes at a time as they nibble at acorns by trees or telephone polls. Then she makes a headlong lunge and misses them by 30 feet.

"Not true," she said the other day after almost running into the garage chasing a squirrel. "I let them think I'm missing them by 30 feet. Next time, BAM, I've got 'em."

One time at South Park, she actually caught a squirrel. She shook it in her mouth, but she appeared to be so stunned and surprised with her capture that the squirrel easily squirmed away.

"I don't like to talk about that," she said.

Lucy grew up in Montana and was trained to herd cows. She gets very excited when she's in the car and sees cows in the pasture. She often begs her owner to stop and let her out, but that's not a good idea because she'd jump into the pasture and pretty soon you'd have a stampede of cows heading to the barn.

Lucy does like to herd her owner by nudging her toward the door when it's time to go for a walk. She'll also use naughty words early in the morning when she needs to go out, or so her owner says.

"She started cussing me at 5 a.m.," her tired owner said the other day. "Sometimes she has a really bad potty mouth."

Lucy is independent, sporty, proud of her gleaming black and white coat, and insistent about getting a treat after a walk. If talking doesn't work, she simply fastens her brown-eyed stare on you until the treat is acquired and gobbled up.

Lucy has dreams, vivid visions of chasing cows and cars. Her body begins shaking slightly, and she lets out yips in her sleep.

Lucy has the life of a dog. She is loved, and she loves back. She might not admit it out loud, but her body language never lies.

If you ignore her, she'll break out the vocal chords.

"We are going for a walk NOW!" she says almost every night.

Lucy rules the roost, and she knows it.

She is the talk of Calftown.

-- rhart@whig.com/221-3370

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